Our House
by bananashplito
Summary: A modern AU where the Fellowship of the Rings are housemates. Follows a few of the things they get up to in their day to day lives, like pranks, arguments and clubbing! Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

"Sam, where's the bloody milk?" Gandalf roared from the kitchen, slamming the door of the fridge with a bang. He stomped over to his bowl of dry cornflakes and stared down at them morosely.

Sam's face appeared timidly over the edge of the bannister at the top of the stairs. "Wh-what was that Mr Gandalf, please sir?" he stammered.

Gandalf waved his bowl wildly at Sam, causing cornflakes to rain across the tiles. "Where. Is. The. Milk?"

Sam's face went pale. "I thought it was Boromir's turn to get it…" he said in a small voice.

Boromir marched jauntily into the kitchen, already dressed. His hair, still damp from the shower, was neatly tied back and he had a grey towel slung over his shoulder. He worked as a personal trainer at the nearby gym. Wordlessly, he pointed to the rota. Sure enough, Sam's name was written clearly in black marker pen.

Sam gulped. "Oh."

"See you later," Boromir sung cheerfully and stepped out the front door as Gandalf's wrath exploded and woke the whole house.

Frodo tumbled down the stairs. "Sam, we really need to get goin…" he trailed off when he saw Gandalf's livid face. "Never mind. We'll see you there." He muttered hastily as Merry and Pippin joined him, both staring in wide eyed terror at the scene before them. The three scuttled to the pub where they and Sam worked as waiters. Sam gave a whimper as his friends deserted him. Words such as "Worthless" and "Idiotic" recommenced reverberating about the house.

After another few minutes, Aragorn entered the kitchen. He made straight for the coffee machine on the counter. "That's enough, Gandalf." He said quietly over his shoulder, before turning and giving Sam a warm smile. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

Sam by now was a gibbering, jelly-kneed wreck. "T-th-thank y-you strider!" he gasped, sounding pathetically grateful. "Don't overwork yourself, now Aragorn." He added worriedly as he fled after his friends.

Aragorn smiled tiredly before heaving a weary sigh.

"That hobbit's right now and then you know." Gandalf said gruffly. "You do overwork yourself." He noted the dark shadow's smudged beneath the man's eyes and the drop of his shoulders.

"I'll be fine." Aragorn murmured. "It's all a bit hectic at the school at the moment – exams, you know…"

Gandalf rested his hand on Aragorn's shoulder. "It will be fine, you'll see."

Aragorn gave him a grateful look.

"Not many teachers care half so much about their student's grades as you do."

"Math's is an important subject!" Aragorn grinned. "I only wish more of them would see that…" he added glumly.

A new voice joined the discussion. "Teenagers eh?" rumbled Gimli, grabbing a pork pie from the fridge and taking a large bite. "Can't teach em anythin'!" He slapped Aragorn so hard on the back he fell into the coffee machine.

"Day off today, have you?" Gandalf asked Gimli severely.

"Yup!" Gimli clapped his hands in delight. He worked as a car mechanic, and always got Friday off.

"I could use one of those. Where's Legolas?" asked Aragorn.

"Where d'ya think?" Gimli rolled his eyes. "In the ruddy shower as usual sorting his hair! Just my luck he's not working today either…"

Gandalf and Aragorn shared an alarmed look. Legolas and Gimli were not the best of friends, despite being housemates. Who knew what could happen with them alone together for a whole day.

Aragorn put down his empty coffee mug. "Well, better go." He sighed.

"Bye Aragorn!" came Legolas's melodic voice from somewhere above, before the shower recommenced. As was usual whenever Legolas spoke, Gimli's eye twitched in irritation.

"I'd better go too." Gandalf glanced at the clock. "The library will be open soon." He thoroughly enjoyed his job as librarian. Needless to say, he kept it in religious and rigid silence through his whip-like shushing and sharp tongue….

HI FOLKS! THE NEXT CHAPTERS WILL BE A BIT MORE INTERESTING - THIS ONE IS MORE TO SET THE SCENE. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT HOWEVER, AND DO PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN LORD OF THE RINGS OR ANY OF HIS CHARACTERS


	2. Chapter 2

Gimli groaned. He'd tried everything. Stuffing his fingers in his ears; plugging them with cotton wool; throwing a pillow over his face; burrowing beneath the covers; playing loud heavy rock music. But no matter what he did, it was never enough to block Legolas's singing from his hearing. It wound through everything in breathy tuneless threads. He had been in the shower for over an hour and a half by now, and Gimli was close to breaking point.

He never had been able to stand Legolas's voice, and his singing was even worse.

"Singing…" he grumbled to himself. "as if you can call it that."

There was a moment of blessed silence. Gimli sat up and waited. Sure enough - _"Don't you ever say I just walked away, I will always…"_

He flopped back down in despair.

Just one day, he thought miserably. That's all I wanted. One day to be alone, so completely and perfectly alone, just for one day of the week. But no. He groaned again and rolled over. "Why does he spend so long in the bloody shower? How can anyone spend that long in the shower?" he asked the ceiling.

At first he thought he had received not reply. But then, something caught his attention and a glorious idea came into his mind. He began to snigger.

Five minutes later he was creeping silently along the landing. Hardly daring to breath, he pushed the bathroom door open and tiptoed inside. He could make out a tall, thin shadow behind the floral yellow shower certain. _"I came in like a WRECKING BALL!"_

With a vengeful grin, Gimli tipped a handful of small objects over the curtain rail and ran. He had barely made it to the door when the screams began.

For the last hour and a half Legolas had been lovingly and tenderly going through the motions that kept his long blonde hair sleek and beautiful. He was very carefully applying jasmine scented oil to the fine strands when a tumble of small black spiders poured down his body from out of nowhere. Legolas HATED spiders.

"Aaaaahhhhhh!" Gasping, shrieking and swatting wildly about him, Legolas staggered out of the shower. His skin was crawling with thousands of imaginary legs and his entire body was trembling. He grabbed a towel and threw it protectively about himself, frantically searching for the doorknob behind his back. He found it, yanked the door open and darted blindly down the corridor, straight into Gimli.

"Gimli…help! Spiders…SPIDERS! Everywhere, shower…do something!" he gasped, pointing frantically toward the bathroom.

Gimli smirked as he took in Legolas shivering before him haphazardly wrapped in a towel and the wet footprints trailing down the carpet.

"What, these?" he asked innocently, opening his hand and showing Legolas the small plastic spider sat on his palm. Then he collapsed to the floor in a fit of laughter.

Legolas stared at him. Then his eyes began to fill with tears and his lower lip began to tremble. "Why do you hate me?" he asked miserably.

Through his giggles Gimli managed to gasp out "It's called a joke laddie!"

A frown of confusion suddenly marred Legolas' fair brow. "But… how did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That…that I'm…scared of spiders?" he muttered ashamedly.

"Oh." Gimli grinned. "I was on my way to the bathroom one night when I heard you waking Aragorn and asking him to get a spider ofF your bed for you."

Legolas flushed and stared at the floor. "He was very kind about it." He murmured. "Unlike you."

Gimli began to feel a little guilty. "Look, lad-"

"I need to dry my hair." Legolas brushed past him to his room and softly shut the door.

Gimli stared at it a few seconds. Then he shrugged, chuckled to himself, and went to spend a few quality hours on the Xbox. Little did he know that Legolas was already planning his revenge…

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW, AND FEEL FREE TO DONATE ANY IDEAS.


	3. Chapter 3

The door banged open at 5pm the same day as Aragorn and Boromir came home laden with groceries. Whilst they were unloading the bags the four hobbits burst in chattering excitedly.

"What's up?" asked Boromir, looking up from the freshly-stocked fruit bowl.

"The cook's _really_ angry!" Merry sniggered. "Stomping about the place in such a temper."

"Why is that?" Aragorn asked, intrigued.

Frodo jumped in before Merry could reply. "He seems to think _somebody_ is stealing from his kitchen."

They all looked at Pippin. He shuffled miserably from foot to foot. "…it was just an apple!" he finally burst out.

Sam raised his eyebrows silently. "Okay, maybe a pumpkin tart as well…" Pippin gulped. "And a jar of tartar sauce."

Boromir laughed loudly. Aragorn frowned in disapproval. "Don't encourage him Boromir. Stealing is wrong Pippin, and it can get you into serious trouble."

"Jeez Aragorn, it's not like it was car." Boromir rolled his eyes. He ruffled Pippin's hair, who beamed. It faded when he saw Aragorn's sad shake of the head.

"Common, Boys!" Frodo dragged the hobbits into the living room. "Big Bang Theory will be on soon."

"Why do you always do that? Take everything so serious?" Boromir asked Aragorn, irritated. "He's just a kid. They need a bit of fun."

Aragorn didn't answer. Boromir slammed a draw shut loudly. "I asked you a question."

"I know kids well enough, Boromir." Aragorn stated calmly. "Perhaps too well."

"You were young once."

"I was." Aragorn said shortly, turning his back to Boromir to put some things in the fridge. "Let's just say I never had a good upbringing and made some bad choices that ruined my childhood. I've turned it around since then but I'd give anything to erase the past. I don't want him going the same way. That's the way it starts, you understand. Little things."

Boromir regarded him coldly for a second. "Well, what do you know. Mr Perfect wasn't so perfect after all."

Aragorn's back stiffened a little. He said nothing however.

Sam re-entered the kitchen. "I'm gonna make lasagne for dinner tonight. Mr Gandalf's favourite…" He set about gathering pans, not noticing the slight tension between the two men watching him.

Later, whilst the nine of them were sat about the large kitchen table tucking into Sam's delicious lasagne, Gandalf noticed Legolas was unusually quiet.

"How was your day off, Legolas?" he asked.

Legolas looked up glumly from his dinner plate. "Okay." He replied morosely.

Gimli hid a laugh in his beer mug and promptly started choking. Pippin and Frodo both leapt up and down on his back till he could breathe normally again.

"So what's up, Legless?" Merry asked cheerfully.

It was the wrong thing to do. "Your all laughing at me!" Legolas wailed, before leaping up and running from the room. They heard his bedroom door slam.

They all stared at each other in shock, before turning their attention to Gimli who was all but on the floor from laughing so hard.

"What have you done?" Boromir asked him accusingly.

"No-nothing!" he gasped, before fleeing to his room with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Gandalf cleared his throat. "Well…this is delicious Sam." He carried on eating enthusiastically.

Sam glowed with pride.

"Gandaaalf…" Pippin began timidly. "Do you think maybe tonight you could…tell us one of your stories?"

"Oh yes please, Gandalf, do!" Frodo chimed in, and Sam and Merry both began to plead too.

Secretly pleased, Gandalf gave a long-suffering sigh and agreed.

"Yay!" Pippin cried, zooming up the stairs with Sam and Frodo to get settled and ready to listen in bed.

Merry stopped in the doorway. "Boromiiiiir?"

"Yeeees?"

"…can you make us some hot chocolate, please?"

Boromir sighed. "If I have to."

"With Marshmellows?"

"Yes."

"And squirty cream?"

"Yes."

"And sprinkles?"

"YES!"

"Woohoo!" he scurried up the stairs after his friends. Boromir shook his head fondly and started gathering mugs.

"Well…I've got marking to do." Aragorn headed for the door.

"Night." Boromir said stiffly.

"Goodnight."

At about 5am in the morning, the whole house was awoken by a deafening roar. Everyone rushed to Gimli's room in their pyjamas. It was in darkness.

"What the hell is going on?" Aragorn demanding, nearly flattening Frodo in his attempt to find the light switch.

"The bloody elf! That stinkin' cursed ELF!" Gimli was screaming from his bed. The light switch was flicked triumphantly on by Legolas, who was casually leaning against the wall with a very broad smirk on his face.

They all gasped at the sight before them. Gimli was tied to the bedposts by his long ginger hair. "Look what he's done!" Gimli groaned. "I'm going to kill him, I swear it! My beautiful beard…"

The hobbit's rushed over and examined the complicated knots.

"But why have you done this?" Gandalf asked Legolas in bewilderment.

"Revenge." Was his exceedingly smug reply.

Boromir demanded to know what for, but got no reply.

"I hate to say it, Gimli…" Frodo began nervously. "But it may have to be…cut."

"WHAT?! No, no, no! My beard, my beard, my beautiful beard…" Gimli began to sob.

Aragorn stalked right up to Legolas, grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him toward Gimli. "Untie him right now." He hissed furiously.

"But-"

"DO IT. Right now, this very second." Aragorn's eyes shone brilliantly with pure exhaustion and his movements where short and jerky. He felt utterly drained and the thought that he would not get back to sleep now because of Legolas's stupid prank made him want to scream.

Legolas was highly affronted at being treated so roughly. He was also extremely resentful toward Aragorn for ruining his fun. However, he dared not test that homicidal look in his friend's eye. In fact, seeing it caused a worm of guilt to prick his conscience. Aragorn had been pretty low on sleep lately. Too much worrying about work. Legolas' untied Gimli with his nimble fingers. As soon as he was free, Gimli made a grab for him but Legolas danced away.

With a roar of fury, Gimli leapt to his feet and locked his hands about Legolas's slender throat.

"Strider, do something!" begged Sam in a panic. "He's going to kill him!"

Aragorn strode forward and punched Gimli hard in the face. Gimli let go. Aragorn grabbed Legolas by the back of his nightshirt and threw him from the room. Then he stumbled back to his own bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, clutching his throbbing head.

Gimli was sat on his floor, dazed from the blow and from shock. Boromir helped him back to bed whilst Gandalf herded the dumbstruck hobbits back to their beds.

Pippin turned to him before he shut the door and asked in a small voice "Has Aragorn gone mad?"

Gandalf smiled a little. "He's suffering from insomnia. Imagine you hadn't had a wink of sleep for about 5 nights. Finally, finally, after hours of tossing and turning, you drift off. Then your house mate wakes you up again with a stupid, immature prank. You wouldn't feel too good yourself, I imagine."

"Oh!" said Pippin, reassured. "Poor Strider…. goodnight Gandalf!" he shut the door, burrowed into his duvet and was asleep in five minutes.

ONCE AGAIN, HOPED YOU LIKED IT!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Aragorn was unwell. He had a high fever and felt as though his whole body had been hit by a bus. Nevertheless, he attempted to get out of bed.

Frodo was stealing snack bars from the kitchen when he heard a loud thud from above. Going to investigate, he found Aragorn lying on his bedroom floor in a crumpled heap.

"Aragorn! Aragorn! What's wrong? Talk to me!"

All he received was a feeble groan in reply. Frodo placed his hand on Aragorn's forehead and found it burning red-hot. He noticed his skin was grey and sweaty, and his eyes were sunken and etched with purple shadows.

"Boromir!" Frodo called, recognising his footstep outside on the landing.

"Frodo? What's- Aragorn!" Boromir's eyes widened in alarm.

Frodo gestured at the bed. "Help me get him up." He ordered.

Boromir quickly did as he was told, then grabbed his mobile from his pocket and called the school were Aragorn worked to inform them he was ill.

"I'm going to take the day off." Frodo informed him. "Someone has to take care of him. He really is sick."

Legolas and Gimli popped their heads around the door. "What's happening?" they asked. When Frodo told them, they looked at each other guiltily.

"Yes, you should feel bad." Frodo told them sternly. They nodded shamefacedly before retreating.

Frodo nursed him all through the day. He mopped his brow with cold water; wrapped him up in numerous blankets; brought him soup and attempted to feed it to him. Aragorn briefly came around a couple of times but mostly he just slept. By evening, Frodo was relieved to see some of the sickly pallor had faded from his cheeks.

Just then, Frodo remembered he had promised to go see Bilbo at 8. They hadn't seen each other in a really long time, and if he was going to be on time he had to catch the train as soon as possible. Frodo glanced guiltily at Aragorn's sleeping face. He did look better.

He ran to Boromir's room and knocked loudly.

When Boromir opened it, he asked "Boromir, will you look after Aragorn for a couple of hours? I promised to meet Bilbo."

Boromir looked uneasy. "Er…well, I kinda have a date tonight, Fro. She's special this one and I don't want to mess it up."

Frodo noticed Boromir had actually combed his hair and was dressed rather smartly. "Alright, I'll ask someone else. Good luck!" Frodo winked, causing Boromir to grin and duck his head bashfully.

He tried Legolas and Gandalf, but it turned out they were going clubbing. Frodo tried to keep his expression completely neutral when he was told this, but he could feel his eyebrows twitching.

Gimli was nowhere to be found and must have gone out for a night alone, and Sam was determined to watch Bake-Off and didn't want to leave the living room.

That left Merry and Pippin.

"Of course we'll look after him!" said Merry brightly.

"You will stay with him won't you? He might take a turn for the worse." Frodo asked, feeling slightly uneasy about giving them such a responsibility.

"Yep!" smiled Pippin. "We'll make him right as rain! I'll even sing to him, how's that?"

Frodo shrugged of his anxiety. "Thanks guys. You're the best!" he ran off to catch the train.

Merry raided the kitchen and found a load of snacks. He and Pippin brought them up to Aragorn's room and settled down comfortably beside his bed.

"He looks very pale, isn't it?" Pippin observed through a mouthful of peanut-butter sandwich.

Merry nodded and took a large swig of lemonade. "And kinda still…"

They looked at each other for a moment. "Nah, I'm sure he's fine!" Merry laughed and they both began stuffing their cheeks again.

When the food ran out however, they had nothing to do but sit and watch Aragorn. Pippin again felt a shiver of unease. "Merry…" he began. "He's definitely not…died has he?"

"Don't be stupid!" Merry snapped. "Look, you can see him breathing."

Pippin looked. "I can't."

"Neither can I." Merry admitted.

They both began to tremble with fear. With nervous trepidation, Merry reached out and touched Aragorn's hand. It was cold.

"Oh my God!" he cried.

"Aragorn! ARAGORN!" Pippin burst into tears and leapt onto the bed, straddling Aragorn's chest and shaking him desperately by the shoulders.

With a start, Aragorn woke up. Instinctively, he grabbed something from under his pillow. Pippin went completely still when he realised a knife was being held to his throat. Aragorn blinked a few times, recognised Pippin, and immediately lowered the knife. "My god, Pippin, I'm so-" but Pippin had begun to scream.

Aragorn reached over and put his hand over Pippin's mouth. "No, shush Pippin, its o-argh!" Pippin had bit down viciously and leapt away from him into Merry's arm, who was staring at Aragorn in horror.

"You've got a knife." He said dumbly.

"He's got a knife!" Pippin screamed, sobbing in terror. "A KNIFE! Sam! SAM!" he rushed out of the room, dragging Merry with him.

Aragorn heard him yelling to Sam "Sam, Sam, Strider's got a KNIFE! Under his pillow! He's a maniac, a psychopath! Run, RUN!"

Aragorn groaned and flopped back down on his bed. He couldn't think straight and didn't know how to save the situation. He buried his face in his hands. God I miss Arwen, he thought miserably. He imagined the soft, soothing touch of his girlfriend's hand running through his hair, her soft lips against his own, and felt a little better. She had gone away on a gap-year to Austria. He wished now that he hadn't refused to join her, but he'd felt a responsibility toward his students.

The door creaked open and Sam peered warily in. "Strider?" he took a cautious step into the room. "What's all this about a knife?"

Aragorn ruefully held up the small, intricately carved blade. Sam blanched and took a step backwards.

"No Sam wait." Aragorn begged. "It's just a precaution. I don't feel safe and I can't sleep without it, I have no idea why. I would never use it on anybody. Pippin surprised me, that's all."

Sam considered, then pulled himself together. "Of course you wouldn't." he said decisively. "I never would believe such a thing of you."

"Pippin would." Aragorn muttered miserably.

Sam patted him gently on the arm. "No, no. You just frightened him bad…he'll be over it by tomorrow."

Aragorn smiled. "I hope so."

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Quite a bit actually. Its nice to finally get some sleep. I'll be back to work for tomorrow."

Sam put his hands on his hips. "No you will not!" he stated crossly. "You need a proper 3 days to recover and I'm making sure you get them."

"But-"

Sam shushed him firmly. "No buts. You do as I say, or I'll tie you down. I mean it."

Aragorn looked at him. "Fine…" he sighed, raising his hands in defeat.

Sam clapped his hands together, pleased. "Right. You go right back to sleep now, you. I'll arrange it all with the school. Goodnight."

He turned of the light, and Aragorn slipped back into delightful, blessed sleep.

ANY IDEAS WOULD BE VERY WELCOME! THANK YOU FOR READING.


	5. Chapter 5

"Whoo!" hooted Frodo enthusiastically. "It's Friday and the working day is over. Hello weekend!" The other hobbits and Gimli cheered.

"I'm going to go for a walk in Fangorn Forest on Saturday!" Legolas chimed happily.

"And I'm going swimming with Faramir at the outdoor pool." Boromir added, very much looking forward to seeing his brother again. "you got any plans for the weekend Gandalf?"

Gandalf harrumphed. "Only to get out of this house and away from you idiots for a while…" he sniffed, but his eyes were twinkling.

"I'm with you there." Gimli grunted, giving Legolas and Aragorn a sour look to show they were not forgiven.

"Hey, Aragorn," Legolas said suddenly. "Do you want to come with me? There's this massive old oak tree you might like to see."

Aragorn nodded enthusiastically. "I'd love t-"

"Oh no you don't!" Sam snapped. "You've not had your full three days' rest yet!"

"But I've been stuck inside for ages Sam. Please, I'm much better now-" the end of his sentence was broken off by a loud sneeze. Sam raising his eyebrows smugly. Aragorn shoulders slumped and he flopped back onto the couch dejectedly.

"There, there Aragorn." Pippin said comfortingly, patting his head. He had forgiven Aragorn about 15 minutes after he nearly cut his throat.

"Yeah, it's a shame you're sick." Merry supplied. "You could have come with us to the Antiques Road Show tomorrow. I'm sooo excited!" he began to jig about excitedly. Pippin, Sam and Frodo joined in.

However, despite all their plans for Saturday, the weather had other ideas.

Boromir pressed his nose against the window early Saturday morning and peered out at the torrential downpour gushing from the heavens. It was the heaviest rain he'd seen for a long time, and it didn't look like it was stopping anytime soon. He sighed miserably and texted Faramir to cancel. He missed his beloved little brother so much.

From upstairs, he heard Frodo give an outcry of dismay. "Sam, it's raining!"

"And it's not going to stop!" Pippin added in despair. "We can't go to the Antiques Road Show anymore…"

"And I can't go for my walk…" Legolas wailed.

"Looks like we're all stuck here today…" Gimli disgruntledly declared.

Merry face suddenly brightened. "That might not be so bad. We could have a games day instead, all of us together!"

The other hobbits suddenly looked a little more cheerful.

"Can my brother come?" Boromir asked hopefully.

"Sure, why not?" said Sam. "The more the merrier!" he clapped his hands in delight.

Gimli frowned. "As long as we don't have to play ruddy monopoly." He muttered darkly.

"But that's my favourite!" Gandalf gasped in dismay.

"How about Jenga?" Aragorn asked as he came downstairs. He secretly felt a little pleased he wouldn't be spending the whole day alone in the house whilst everyone went out.

"It's too loud." Legolas complained. "It hurts my head…"

Gimli snorted and opened his mouth to reply, but Boromir elbowed him in the ribs. "Why don't we play scrabble?"

"But its bo-ring." whined Pippin. "Oh I know, let's play Chubby Bunny!"

"No, never again." Aragorn said quickly and firmly. "You were sick the last time we played that, and I had to clean it up!"

Pippin pouted sulkily and muttered "Kill Joy…" under his breath.

"Twister, twister, twister!" Sam and Frodo chanted.

"The last time we played that," Gimli replied. "I fell over on Merry and he had to go to hospital."

"Three broken ribs!" Merry cried, glaring at Gimli.

"Cluedo?" suggested Gandalf innocently.

"But you always win." Legolas snapped. Gandalf smiled smugly.

Many, many more games were suggested and promptly rejected. They still hadn't decided by the time the doorbell announced the arrival of Faramir. Instantly perking up, Boromir engulfed his brother in a bear-hug. Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry all ran to high-five him. He laughed cheerfully and ruffled their hair.

"Perhaps you can help us Faramir." Gandalf sighed exasperatedly and without much hope. "We just can't decide which game to play."

"We've been through every single board game we own." Aragorn added, warmly shaking Faramir's hand.

Faramir thought for a moment. "Who says it has to be a board game? What about Truth or Dare?"

Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli and Legolas all groaned. Sam, Pippin, Merry and Frodo gasped with delight.

"That's a brilliant idea!" beamed Frodo.

"I'm so glad you're related to Boromir." gushed Pippin.

"Oh, can we, can we, can we?" Sam and Merry begged the others. They felt uneasy about it, but in the face of such excitement they reluctantly accepted.

Merry herded them all into the living room. "Everyone sit in a nice big circle." He ordered.

"I'll get the snacks!" Sam dashed into the kitchen. Gimli told him not to forget the beer.

When they were all sat comfortably clutching their beer cans, Faramir suggested brightly "Shall I start?"

"Truth or Dare?" asked Boromir, a wicked grin on his face as he pulled out the Truth or Dare app recently downloaded on his mobile and placed it in the centre of the circle.

"Truth." Faramir declared confidently.

Boromir tapped truth. "Who is the worst dressed person in the room?" he read aloud.

Faramir breathed in through his nose heavily as he scanned the circle. Then he turned to the person beside him. "Hate to say it Fro," he grimaced, "But I've never been a fan of ripped black jeans…"

Frodo gasped in outrage, but before he could reply Faramir quickly cut him off with "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." He said sulkily.

"Lick the belly-button of the person on your left." Faramir read. He began to laugh hysterically, but abruptly stopped when he realised he was on Frodo's left. "Oh God no." he groaned.

Frodo giggled. "Revenge is mine!"

Faramir couldn't watch as Frodo lifted his shirt and put his tongue to his naval.

"Erg!" Frodo complained, "Your belly-button tastes disgusting…" He scanned the circle searching for a target. "Gimli! Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Growled Gimli. "But I ain't licking nobody's belly button…"

"Do an improvised dance." Frodo read, sounding disappointed.

Gimli promptly got up into the middle of the circle and started break-dancing. The others stared opened mouthed in amazement. Without a word he sat down again. "Truth or Dare, Legless?"

Legolas sniffed at the insult, but replied "Dare."

Gimli gasped in delight as he read the dare. "Apply shampoo to your dry hair and do not wash it off."

Legolas burst into anguished tears. "No, no, I could never!" he sobbed as Merry rushed upstairs for shampoo.

"If you don't," Pippin warned, "You have to run around this room naked. It's the forfeit."

Legolas hid his face in his hands but allowed Merry to dump the shampoo over his head and rub it in. Lather dropped onto his shoulders but he managed to challenge Gandalf with wounded dignity. Everyone else in the room was clutching at their sides and crying with laughter.

Gandalf chose truth.

"What's the longest you have gone without showering?" Legolas read.

Gandalf thought for a moment then answered proudly "Three months."

"Eewwww!" groaned everyone else. Those next to him edged away slightly. Legolas went green.

"Boromir, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Boromir chose with a nervous grin.

"Kiss the person opposite you." Everyone turned to stare at Aragorn, who had just choked on his beer.

"Wh-at!?" he yelped as Gimli slapped him on the back.

Boromir advanced towards him. "Pucker up Aragorn!" he sang.

"No, no, wait!" Aragorn begged desperately, trying to back away but the couch was in the way. "I have a girlfriend, you can't-"

"Hold him down will you Gimli, Legolas." Ordered Gandalf.

Aragorn tried to kick Boromir away from him. "She'll kill me, please…stop, stop! This isn't fair-"

Boromir grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Everyone laughed at the dumb-struck expression on Aragorn's face. After a few seconds to process what had happened he drained his beer can in one and quickly went to get three more, which followed the first.

"Better?" asked Boromir.

"Not really."

Boromir laughed. "Aragorn, truth or dare?"

"But I just-"

"That was my dare."

Aragorn groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Truth" he muttered.

Boromir tapped truth. "If your house was burning, what three things would you get out?"

Aragorn answered without hesitating "Arwen, the necklace she gave me, and my sword. Pippin, truth or dare?"

Pippin hopped up and down excitedly and chose dare.

"Let another player put make-up on you."

Pippin looked far too pleased about this. "Who wants to do it?" he asked.

"I will." Faramir volunteered. "I work at a salon."

"You do?" gasped Legolas, thrilled. Faramir nodded. A few minutes later, Pippin was admiring himself in a mirror delightedly. His face was lightly dusted with foundation, he lips a glistening pink, his eyes dramatically outlined in black. His eyebrows had also been plucked and eyelashes curled.

"You look fabulous!" gushed Legolas.

"I know." Pippin replied smugly. "Sam, truth or dare?"

"Dare…" chose Sam nervously.

"Swap t-shirts with the person to your left."

Gimli and Sam looked at each other. "This will be interesting." Gimli said.

They swapped t-shirts. Gimli's t-shirt hung like a dress about Sam's frame. Sam's t-shirt was stretched to the seams across Gimli's chest. It was too short to cover his stomach, and he could feel the sleeves cutting of the blood circulation at his upper arms.

Sam smile with delight, spinning around in his new dress. "Merry, truth or dare?"

"Truth, truth, truth!" chanted Merry.

"Do you have a crush on any of your friend's boyfriends/girlfriends?"

Merry went very quiet. "What!?" gasped everyone in the room.

"Who?" Aragorn demanded, his hand going to his sword hilt. "WHO?"

"….Eowyn is very beautiful…." Merry admitted in a tiny voice. Aragorn relaxed, and everyone turned to see Faramir's reaction.

However, Faramir just laughed and ruffled Merry's hair. "Yeah she is, isn't she? And clever, feisty and kind and…" he went on and on with a dreamy look on his face until they were all ready to be sick.

THANK YOU FOR ANY REVIEWS SO FAR. I WILL DEFINITELY BE INCLUDING THOSE AMAZING IDEAS AT SOME POINT IN THE STORY!


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